The Difficult Road

It’s mesmerizing
How far I’ve come with
My recovery since
My first psychotic break
Twenty years ago.

I remember the sickness
And unimaginable pain
That brought
Tears to my eyes.

I remember praying to
God to show me
A path out.

I remember losing everything

Friends,
Home,
Money,
Job,
Health,
Sanity.

I remember thinking that no
Human being could endure
Such torture
For long.

I remember every delusional thought
Feeling like an arrow
In my heart.

I remember the pain I brought
To the people I loved
And who tried to help me.

I remember my paranoia
Guiding my actions.

I remember all of it,

And like a hardened veteran
Who underwent a war
Within the mind,

Sometimes
Wish that I could
Forget.

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