The Qanon Shaman

Nothing symbolizes
Political Crackpots and
2020 misinformation
Better than
The Qanon Shaman.

This supporter and
Conspiracy theorist
Stormed the Capitol
Building
On January 6th 2021,

Covered in Red, White and Blue
Face paint,
Dressed in a Horned Buffalo Costume
And waving
The American Flag.

He posed for the cameras
As he went about desecrating
A vessel of Democracy
For all the world to see,

And risked his life for
Baseless internet
Buffooneries.

After he
Is released from prison
He will forever be infamous as

The Qanon Shaman.

A so called “patriot”
In the age of insanity

The Operating Room

A little over a year ago I was
Told I would likely die
From an inoperable hernia.

Instead of “Giving Up”
I ate protein shakes
Quest bars and walked
An hour or two every day
For 16 months.

I lost 115 lbs,

Enough weight so
That the Doctors
Would attempt to
Operate on me.

The day of reckoning
Arrived
Last week,

After a year of
Hard and arduous
Work.

I showed up at
The hospital early
And went
To the pre-op room
Where I placed myself on a gurney
So that the nurses could
Shave
My abdomen.

I made small talk about
My recent vacation
To help calm
My nerves as
They fed me pills and
Antibiotics through an
IV.

Above my bed was a cross
And I started humming hymns
In a drug induced stupor
As I drifted in and out
Of consciousness.

Eventually they rolled me into
The cutting room
Where I found
A dozen or so
Highly trained
Surgeons.

I gave them a thumbs up
And thanked them,
As they placed a mask
Over my face
And then
Darkness.

I woke up in
Blood soaked
Abdominal wrappings
And was told that
The surgery had gone
Remarkably well.

Three days later I was still
Taking Oxycodone
Tylenol, Ibuprofen
Muscle relaxers and
Nova-cane,

But I am alive
And will one day
Be fully recovered.

 

Watchful Eyes

I remember taking a cryptography course
Back in 2000
And the professor spoke of various
Algorithms used to scramble
Information and keep our data
Private
On the internet.

These algorithms
When utilized properly are
Considered
Unbreakable,

But can be
Circumnavigated
Using backdoors.

Years later
A computer analyst
Named Edward Snowden
Came forward with thousands
Of classified documents
About government
Surveillance.

We now realize
That all of our online activities
Are being monitored
And analyzed by
NSA Supercomputers.

Our privacy is
An illusion.

Its enough to make
The most sane
Person
Paranoid.

It ends up
That
They really are
Watching us
After all.

Antipsychotics

Have you ever had your life
Held by a thin rope?

That is what
Everything feels like
On a
Life saving drug.

My job
My friends
My family
My life

All dependent
On a single pill.

Without
These pills
I would cease
To be,

And with them
I can flourish.

Modern medicine
Has breathed
Life into me,

And made me realize
That true heroes
Often work
In hospitals.

Calculated Risks

Daily
I go about my job
Taking
Necessary risks

To feed the patrons of
Cincinnati and
Deliver
Essential goods.

I wear a mask and
Do my distancing like
A good loyal employee,

And every now and
Then an unmasked face
Will cough on me
At work,

And I can’t help but think
That if someone wants to share germs
With me,

They damn well better do it
In a pleasurable manner.

Fake Supremacy 2020

If you think
Your greatest
Accomplishment
Was to be born
A particular
Gender or Race,

Then maybe you should
Find something to
Do that is more
Important.

Be a Nurse, Semi-Driver,
Businessman, Musician,
Waitress, Bartender
Mechanic, Doctor,
Or Writer.

Be a Verb.

If your defining
Moment
Happened at age zero,

Then maybe you
Should grow up.

Prison Time

It seems like every few years
I end up in the court system,
But not for the reasons that
Most would believe.

Though the mentally ill
Are perceived as criminals
Bums and vagrants,

The only crimes that I have
Experienced
Were the ones
Directed at me.

Predators think I’m
An easy target
Because of my
Mental Illness,

And hunt me like
A pack of animals.

Six guys
Two burglaries and
An armed robbery
In the last couple decades
Along with plenty other
Lesser bullshit.

I’m still waiting for the
Next time,

Which is why my house
Is jam packed with
Security.

It’s like a fucking
War zone,

And I’m tired of
Showing up
At the courthouse
As a witness,

Because some assholes
Think my house and wallet
Are a part of
The welfare system.

Natural Habitat

As I drive from the
Artificial world of
The city
Into the wilderness
My mind drifts
Deeper into nature
And oneness with my
Surroundings.

This is how mankind
Was meant to dwell,
Alongside the
Rivers, forests and
Other nature spirits
That birthed us.

Modern times
Teach us to
Abandon our
History and
Embrace the
New worlds,

Yet my mind
Drifts toward
Simpler and more
Primitive times,
Especially when I
Live inside our
Fake Plastic World.

Happier Blind

I unplugged my television
Last week and
Decided to turn off
The bad news and
Endless noise of
Humanity screaming
In my ears.

If the world is going to end
In fire and flames or
Sickness and death or
Civil War
I’d rather not see
It coming.

I’d rather be sitting far
Off in a cabin somewhere
When the bombs hit
Or the plague
Spreads or whatever
Abominations from the
Book of Revelation
Materialize.

Better to live 100%
Of your life to the fullest
Than 90% in fear and
Dread.

 

2020: The Great Equalizer

I have almost 0 dollars in
My bank account
Right now,

But so does
Almost everyone else
I know.

Capitalism and Covid
Have finally brought
Equality to America,

In the form of poverty.

Now that most of
Us are equally broke,
We can concentrate
On other
More important things,

Like learning how to
Cook cheap Pasta,

Grow our own
Vegetables

And master our
Survival skills.