I met my closest friend 25 years ago
At a “They Might Be Giants” Concert.
He stood out like a sore thumb
Among the crowd because his appearance
Resembled that of an extraterrestrial
With a lanky gaunt body and an
Unusually large head,
Which housed a rather
Brilliant Cranium.
It became apparent to me
After meeting him several times that
He was one of the strangest and most
Eccentric individuals I
Ever met,
So we immediately became friends.
He enjoyed collecting things
From an early age and had
All sorts oddities scattered
Around his house
Including a life size
Han Solo in carbonite,
But it wasn’t until he started collecting
Magic the Gathering Cards that he
Found his true passion in life.
He was drunk on those things
And owned Thousands of them.
Eventually he ended up
Becoming the world’s most
Renowned expert on
Misprinted Magic Cards,
He even had his own
Misprint Youtube Channel with
Thousands of subscribers,
We would go to Gaming Conventions together
Gencon, Origins and others,
Him with his briefcase of Magic Cards
And me as his bodyguard
Because those cards he carried
Around with him were worth thousands
Of dollars.
We’d walk inside these large gaming conventions
And everyone would treat the guy like a
King and ask him
What cool crazy misprinted cards
He was carrying around with him.
I’d sit around and watch as he
Sold his Power Nine Alpha Lotus’s and
Timetwisters
To wealthy customers hooked on
This psychologically addictive game
With a crazed look in their eyes
Because all those geeks and nerds had to
“Collect Them All”
And get their fix on.
A while back we drove out
To meet a game designer
Where he made the
“Deal of a Lifetime”
And we drove out of
That joint with
A Quarter Million in
Cardboard Crack.
Keith the Misprint Guy,
Loyal Friend of mine
Drug lord of the modern age,
The El Chapo
Of Nerds
And a great icon
In the gaming world.