I used to be “in the closet”
About my mental illness
Dodging the stigma
Cowering in a corner
Worried what people would think of me
Worried that I would lose my job
Worried that I would always be alone
Worried that I would be bullied
And then I stopped giving a damn
Because I had already been bullied
Because I was already alone
Because I had already lost my job
Because people already hated me
So I started to take medication
And love myself
And not care what others thought
Because most of them don’t understand
That great suffering can bring great strength
And if I hadn’t lost everything
I would have been a weaker person
Because every insult that was thrown at me
Was only making me braver
And the more I lost
The less I had to lose
And the more willing I was
To make sacrifices and react
Not in the form of sticks and stones
But pages filled with words
Words filled with passion
Passion filled with love
Because every hate covered insult
Brought me closer to my great love
Because every ounce of ostracism
Brought boldness and inspiration
Because every humiliation
Brought me close to the pen
And for so long I hated you
When I should have thanked you
For the inspiration you brought
For the words that you provoked
For the stories you helped create
For showing me that life isn’t just about
Comfort and luxury
It’s about what you do
And that I’d rather be in the gutter
Changing things
Than suckling on truffles and caviar
Inside a box
So go back to your little world
Of inert pleasantries
Never having to sacrifice
Or take chances
Or do anything extraordinary
Because you’ve never truly cared
For anyone but yourself
Or had the audacity to live
A meaningful life