Sat down to eat some pizza the other day
And the manager came over to say
That I look a lot like the Unabomber
And that the waitresses should be wary
Because I am a cult leader
I’m rather certain he meant it as an insult
But in fact I was rather charmed
Thinking of all the power and influence
Cult leaders wield over others
So I ate my pizza and left a rather generous
Tip to the disobedient flirtatious waitresses
That paraded around my table
In a quizzical and curious manner