Contact Email: [email protected] Book Link: The Madness Within me
Fourteen years ago I started writing because I was having difficulty coping with my disabilities. Putting my experiences and thoughts on paper helped me think more clearly about my situation, where I was headed and ways that I could improve my life. I later sent my writing to a local street paper that decided to publish my work. From that moment I knew that I was meant to be a writer. It gave me an identity and helped keep my mind off my many troubles.
Fourteen years later I find myself reminiscing about the past, looking back at at my personal evolution from a nomadic delusional cripple to a functional individual. Over time my illness has become more distant and otherworldly as if it were a nightmare conjured up one night in a decade long sleep. A combination of sleep therapy and anti-psychotic medication had awoken me from this reverie in my early thirties and I began to tread the pathway to recovery.
The unusual mixture of symptoms I experience has taken me through various diagnosis including Schizoaffective Disorder, Manic Depression with Psychosis and a measurably severe sleep disorder. It took me through a series of doctors and quacks and medication. It caused immeasurable suffering in the form of psychosis, sleep deprivation and emotional instability. It destroyed a huge part of my life and yet despite it all I am writing to you with a sense of ease and peace I previously never thought possible.
Over time I have been able to piece my life together, evolving from a semi-homeless, unemployable alcoholic to a self sufficient individual who support himself through two profitable business ventures and a job as a Mail Handler for the Post Office. My online store “Dynamo Dan’s Music Market” is growing and my real estate business is succeeding. It’s important to note that the poems and writing are not sad tales of madness and destruction, but written testaments that mental illness recovery is possible in even its most extreme forms.
My recovery journey was not traveled alone however. There were people pushing me along the way. I’d like to thank all those who helped me on this journey;
I’d like to thank “The Hamilton County Recovery Center” for helping me better understand my condition.
I’d like to thank the Sleep Center for treating my disorder and allowing me to finally rest.
I’d like to thank my parents for somehow putting up with my occasional bad behavior and sheltering me regardless.
I’d like to thank NAMI for educating my parents about my illness.
I’d also like to thank my psychiatrist, sleep specialists, surgeons and doctors for finally giving me the right treatments and medication.
Though I will never be cured, you all gave me a life I never thought possible.
Thank You.
Can you…feel…that you have schizophrenia? Do voiced prevent you from NOT thinking? Do they fill up your ears and make you not believe that those around you are more than creations of your own mind, that all this world is all made by your mind? Do you ever wonder if maybe you can outsmart the very voices that plant ideas of the government controlling you? (I am facing problems like these and I wonder if they are shared by anybody. I am, as far as I know, completely healthy)
Hi Gray
How are you doing? are you still having these thoughts “that all this world is all made by your mind”
Hi there –
I came across your page randomly during a google search of “schizophrenia and parallel universes” I am an amateur writer and psychology student currently working on a novel connecting some cases of schizophrenia and connections to parallel universes. Hallucinations and delusions are really just a ‘switch’ in your brain causing your brain to observe the wrong reality.
I’d like to speak with your more for my work if you are willing.
Thank you!
Hi there,
I am extremely interested in talking to you about your experiences as a writer and the impact mental health has, or does not have on your work.
I would love to speak with you further about this!
Thank you
Tara-Marie
Hi Dan , I would like to contact you but cannot find an email address for you. Could you please get in touch with me?
Best
What are you looking for?
Hey man whats up? I am diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic bi-polar. I was diagnosed at age 16 I am currently 28. What brought on my schizophrenia was a hallucinogenic tea made from the plant Datura. I also have wrote probably about 3000 one page to two page poems. Mostly one page though. I have had a lot of pain and voices telling me horrid was I would be tortured, that has since passed. One thing that really helped me cope was to capture my personal feelings in rhymes. I have had thoughts when I was around 17 that this world is a holographic projection and there is a masked authority running the show. I have had thoughts that I am being studied by some sort of scientific people. Kind of like a lab rat to intelligent aliens. I have had thoughts that I am in hell or purgatory. I have been able to recover a lot of “normal” functionability since I was younger but a lot remains unexplained. There is more to reality than many people know. I hope you keep writing it gives me peace to know im not the only person with these situations I am glad to hear your voice being brought to thee comfort of my home. I know very well whats its like to be a recluse.
Hi. You might enjoy my writing on my experiences with schizophrenia.
http://www.abctales.com/story/gabzgrl/science-fiction
I put the link to my author page in the URL box. It’s inspiring to see someone writing about this topic so fearlessly.
Hi Dan.
We thought you might be interested in this 3-minute film about a man coping with the hallucinations of schizophrenia. If you see it, I’d be curious to know your thoughts.
https://vimeo.com/110224214
Thanks,
Michael
Dan ,
I also suffer from a psychotic disorder and I deeply admire your poems for they are so true and very deep and I can relate to them so well as not many people understand what Schizophrenia is or how it feels your wording inspired me I to write poems if you interested In reading them please send me a email [email protected]
Kind regards ,
Jordin
Hi my name is Dan. I am looking for people who want to share their experiences with mental illness, mental healthcare or the mental health system for the publication City Voices. Poetry too. We will only use your first name or a pen-name as author unless you specify to print your full name. If interested, email cityvoices1995[at]gmail[dot]com and I’ll send to you a PDF of our last issue to help you decide if you want to submit an article.
Thank you Jennifer for mentioning CureTalk. I am glad that you eeojynd Dan’s interview. We feature interviews of experts as well as patients to increase awareness and inspire people dealing with similar health conditions. ThanksPriya
Of course the meicoatidn was the most important thing in treating my disorder, and I would never want anyone not to take their meicoatidn. Simultaneously it is important for the doctor to monitor the side effects to make sure they don’t get out of control unnecessarily. Also I would imagine that treatment compliance would increase if the side effects of the meicoatidn were more tolerable. So I do think it is a factor that must be considered when dispensing meicoatidn.
Hi Dan,
I really enjoyed reading your poems and they’ve proven as a great inspiration for my college work.
I’m doing a project as writing from the perspective of someone with schizophrenia, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions through email?
It would be an amazing help and I’d of course mention your name when presenting my project at college.
Thank you!
Chloe
Good evening.
I’m working on a Màsters dissertation looking at how people uses Blogs and Webpages to share their experiences with Mental disorders and uses conceptual metaphor to this end. I want to quote your page always recognizing you as the author and owner of your words. No quoting or using of your posts will be done out of this educational purpose.
Thank you for sharing in such a clear way your thougts and feelings.
Best Wishes from Barcelona Spain
Pau Gimeno
Hello,
My niece is currently in the hospital and according to the doctors she’s showing signs of schizophrenia. Just want to understand if there’s something we need to do to help her cope with the illness? Or what will we be experiencing with this illness?
Thank you.
Hi Dan,
I am an Australian composer and I was really hoping I could use one of your poems for a piece of music. It would be great to hear from you.
Thanks,
Mitch
Hey, my name is Taylor and I’m writing a book about a girl with presumed schizophrenia. I have experience with mental illness myself but not with this particular one. I have noticed that there are not many books out about this one and I wanted to make sure my description was accurate. Is there any way you can contact me through email? I would like to hear about your experiences with dreams, paranoia, sleep paralysis, etc.
I’m deeply sorry if this is too personal!
-Taylor
telliottfrappe@yahoo
Hi Dan,
We are undergrad psychology students wanting to make an informatory video about schizophrenia and we were wondering if we could use your poems in our video to explain what having schizophrenia looks like, more so than a textbook could explain. We want your permission to use these personal poems, and we think you are very courageous to post them on the internet. Thank you so much!
Blessings,
Kelly and Lexy
Hello Lexy and Kelly,
Sorry for the late reply. Yes, of course you may use my poems as you wish for your project. Thank you, and I hope the project goes well. -Dan Hoeweler
I got it, I got you. You want to be paid attention to.
But why do I have to know this?
I would love to know more about this book you are writing.
[email protected]